Writer In Quarantine: How To Access Your Creative Well

Below is a recap of our discussions and meditations for the first live “Dandywood Circles” Zoom calls for writers in the first few weeks of massive social distancing. For four Sundays, I’m inviting writers to my home, affectionately called Dandywood, where we’re gathering together to share thoughts, advice, and support during quarantine. The goal is to work on staying connected to our writing practice during this time of massive social upheaval.

Both sessions are recorded and you can download the audio below, or just check out the highlights in this post.

To get in on the next calls, be sure to sign up for my newsletter to get the links.

Dandywood Circle #1: March 22, 2020

Dandywood Circle Call #1

Questions Begin at 9:54 // Meditation at 40:50

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Q: Is it time that I stop making myself into the writer I’m supposed to be and make room for the real type of writer I am, who knows words are her playmates?

My resounding answer to this excellent question from one of the writers on the call was YES! 

One of the things that comes up in quarantine is a re-assesment of who you are as a writer and where you’re at. The “shoulds” also come out to play a lot. Instead, just play. Explore. Allow this to be a time of getting in touch with what got you writing in the first place (hint: it might have been processing stress or escaping it!).

Right now we’re in transition, and transitions are delicious opportunities for growth. It’s a liminal space where a lot of clarity can come through.

We talked on the call about how to move toward YES and JOY and whatever feels jazzy and yummy and expansive. That may or may not be writing. We gave each other permission to not write if writing felt like a drag.

I spoke about how curiosity is key. Now is a great time to fill the well and go down rabbit holes. All of my best books have come from being curious about something.

The funny thing about curiosity is that it’s a bit like falling in love: you can’t look for your next story idea. Rather, you show up and it finds you. The way you show up is through curiosity. My lifelong curiosity of spies led me to a visit to the International Spy Museum, which led me to discovering Virginia Hall, which led me to writing my biography about her, CODE NAME BADASS, which comes out in Fall 2021.

So while you’re in quarantine, following what sparks your curiosity may very well gift you with a new story, solutions to a current one, or simply fill your well so you have more flow.

Q: “How do we know when something that seems like a block is really a blessing in disguise - something that’s saying No, this isn’t for you…?

This question from someone on the call was a great one because it generated a discussion about how to be in touch with our bodies, which know a lot more about what’s really going on than our minds.

In my experience, the best way to get in touch with out bodies is to meditate. Ever since I got serious about meditation, I was able to listen to my gut more…and trust it. This allowed for enormous creative dividends.

To work with Jennifer’s question, I led our group in a meditation I created for this session to explore what our inner creative wells actually feel like. You can check it out in the recording below, but here here is the gist:

Creative Well Meditation: Part One / Submersion

To get some inner quiet and access your inner Knowing. Your gut. The part of you that will let you know when to ditch a writing project, and when to stay (among many other things):

• Close your eyes and envision a wide, endless sea. You’re bobbing in it, gazing out at the water. See the sunlight flickering across the surface. The waves. The horizon.

• Now, pull yourself beneath the surface. Feel the heaviness of the water. The immediate, comforting weight.

• Observe how quiet it is here below the surface.

• The water is clear and warm. You are absolutely safe. You’re breathing gently through your nose only - inhale and exhale.

• As thoughts come, or outer distractions, notice that those are just waves on the surface of the ocean. You are below those waves. In the deep. In the quiet. In the inner sanctuary.

• Notice the shafts of light cutting into the water.

• Allow yourself a few minutes to just be there beneath the surface. Your object of meditation is your breath or whatever visuals are coming through here under the surface.

• This is where creative flow lives. In the quiet. In the deep.

• You can stay here, enjoying this, or move onto the next portion:

Accessing Your Creative Well

• You’re still here, under the surface of the water.

• Think back to a time when you felt really in flow. It could be when you were writing, but it could also be other times, when the ideas are coming to you, a moment of deep inspiration that sparked something for you.

• Go deep into that memory. How did it feel in your BODY? Don’t put words to this but, rather, feel into the actual sensation. For me, I feel an expansive loosening in my chest. My fingers tingle. My temperature rises.

• Feel that feeling. Amplify it. Home in on exactly where it is in your body. Notice all the shifts that happen inside you.

• Where you feel flow in your body is where your creative well lives.

• Sit there for a bit and enjoy the feeling. When you’re ready, push up, up, up to the surface of that ocean, take three nice deep breaths, and slowly open your eyes.

The takeaway: After the first time you do this, I recommend journaling a bit to get some concrete ideas of where the well is and what this experience in the meditation was like. Then, I recommend doing this meditation every day for the next week, or as long and often as you wish, to keep reconnecting to the feeling of flow.

Work like this is how writers train in flow. It’s the equivalent of a ballet dancer going to class, doing work at the barre.

Q: Is there a hack for writing essays? Right now, I don’t have the bandwidth for creative work.

My big piece of advice here was to consider what you’re adding to the conversation when you write essays or blogs.

There’s a lot of content out there, a lot of half-assed stuff. A lot of lists or rants. So when you do put something out there, consider who your audience is and how they’ll benefit from what you have to say.

There’s also just a lot of value in processing for yourself right now. Writing essays or journaling as a way to cope. As writer self-care. Check out the Inspiration Portal for some good journaling prompts.

In addition to these big questions, we also talked about ways to bring more mindfulness and intentionality into our writing practices. What works for one writer might not work for you. I talked baout the helpful tools in the Flow Lab Sneak Peak, which you can download here (the full 30-Day Flow Lab will land in my newsletter subscriber’s boxes in April). The sneak peek includes a Do Not Disturb doorknob sign, a writing cave sign-in sheet, and some helpful mindful hacks to get your work done.

We dug into how to set healthy boundaries around your creativity, especially with people at home or constantly calling and texting, and how to guard your solitude.

It was wonderful to see each other’s faces, to connect with writers around the country, and to remember that as isolating as writing can be—and social distancing—it really does take a village to sustain a flourishing writing practice. This is how we have each other’s backs.

Keep calm and carry on, camerados.

How To Guard Your Solitude

“...the highest task of a bond between two people [is] that each should stand guard over the solitude of the other...”

— Rilke

I wanted to pop in with a few helpful hints I've been sharing more than ever with the writers I work with, many of whom are struggling to maintain focus and boundaries around their creativity during this time of social distancing. Writing is hard in the best of times. During a global pandemic rife with fear and uncertainty, it can feel downright impossible.

Don’t worry if right now you feel like you can’t stand guard over your own solitude. That’s why I’m here. It’s my raison d’être as a writing coach and mindfulness mentor. Through my practices, tools, and gentle prodding, my hope is that, together, we can help you build a sustainable and flourishing writing practice that works for you NO MATTER WHAT. In sickness and in health.

Permission Slip

First, I want to say this, in case you need to hear it: It’s okay to take a break from writing if that’s what feels most nourishing to you right now. I don’t know about you, but I want my writing to be the harbor, not the storm. If writing feels like a drag right now, if it doesn’t help you feel safer and more grounded and more centered during this time…then why would you do that? Why would you do anything that adds to your psychic or emotional pain right now?

Writing As Harbor, As Lighthouse, As Sanctuary

If writing is the thing that keeps you sane, if it’s the lens through which you view the world (and thus make sense of these unprecedented times), if it’s what makes you you, and if it lights and fills you up (even when it drives you nuts), then you must write. For your health. For the health of those near you. For the health of our planet’s future.

And yet, writing might feel harder than ever before, what with the world being so topsy turvy.

Even if you don't suddenly have a full house to contend with (or, as one writer mentioned on Twitter, neighbors who are DJs that have decided to turn their apartments into a club) or other major upheavals, simply trying to maintain focus when everything has suddenly become so uncertain can be an enormous barrier to getting your work done. You might even be wondering what the point of writing is anyway.

There can also be sudden and strange expectations you place on yourself, perhaps to make the most of the extra time home. Some writers are beating themselves up, creating unrealistic expectations, convinced that if they don't finish their novels by the end of the quarantine period they would have "wasted" this time. Others are being challenged by a lack of focus and motivations, or placing themselves at their loved ones' beck and call, lacking any healthy boundaries. Others are struggling with mental health: increased anxiety and bouts of depression. There's a lot to juggle internally and externally--not to even mention maintaining health, security, and your standard of living.

Here are a few ways to work with your relationship to your writing during this time: 

Guard Your Solitude--And Enlist Your Loved Ones To Do The Same

I love this quote by Rilke:

“...the highest task of a bond between two people [is] that each should stand guard over the solitude of the other...”

If you have a partner or roommate at home, sit them down and let them know what you need. Perhaps you're an introvert who feels drained with too much socialization. And, of course, you need writing time. Schedule your solitude. Create signals that everyone knows that show you shouldn't be bothered unless someone's bleeding or the house is on fire. I have a doorknob sign I bought at Graceland with Elvis's logo: "TCB" - taking care of business.  I put that there when I'm meditating and when I'm in the zone with writing. I created a Do Not Disturb doorknob sign for you in my free Flow Lab Sneak Peak download.

Set Boundaries Around Your Creativity (And Schedule It In)

Here’s a whole article I wrote with ways you can set boundaries around your creativity (with others and yourself!). It goes into all the ways to sustain a healthy writing practice. 

My husband and I enjoy walks together, but now that he's home, I still take a solo walk when I feel like it. The loss of this solitude would be harmful to my creativity and mental health. I need time alone. Lots of it. My husband is a massive extrovert. We're lucky that we've had a lot of practice with this dance, having just come off a year of international housesitting together. Because he’s a writer, too, and a meditator, we’re basically the Swiss Guard over each other's solitude. It's one of the things I value and appreciate most in my life.

Digital Boundaries

I've also worked hard over the years to set boundaries with tech.

I keep my phone on airplane mode while I'm writing - and not even in my writing space, as a lot of research has shown that even the presence of a phone is distracting.

To that end, I don't have news  or social media notifications on my phone.

I set an alarm for the one or two times a day I intend to post on social (more now, though, which I have to be very intentional about - it's easy to fall down the rabbit hole).

Inever answer my phone when it rings - I let it go to voicemail and call back when I'm not writing. I make sure that I budget the time, too--I know who the chatty Cathies in my circle are. These are just a few of the ways I've set my own boundaries - and it certainly works. Though these methods are arguably easier for someone without children than for someone without, all too often I see writers with kids make the mistake of using that excuse as a blanket reason for why you "can't write." There are far too many prolific writers with kiddos to offer up as evidence to the contrary. (Obviously we hold space when you don't have a partner's support, health issues, massive financial strain, elderly parents, etc. But if you add up all the time you spend on your phone or unnecessarily checking email or bingeing Netflix, we can likely agree there are pockets of time to write). 

Not everyone has had the chance to test run the quarantine life or have years of setting boundaries, though. There may be a lot of tension at home right now. Think about what you need. What the fair expectations are. Then communicate that. And take good care of yourself while you're at it. 

Mindful Social Media

Recognize that when you go down the social media rabbit hole, that's really valuable time away from writing. Be intentional and only check at certain times of the day. Turn of notifications. Keep the TV off. Have a healthy relationship to texting and calling. Of course you want to be in touch with your loved ones and you want to be safe, healthy, and aware. Recognize when you're using social media as a way to procrastinate or have fallen into a kind of habit energy. Keep a sense of whether or not you're sliding into an unhealthy, addictive relationship with your tech and the Web. 

Straight Spine, Open Heart

In meditation we talk about posture as a straight spine with an open front. In your relationship to yourself and others, consider ways you can have a straight spine (healthy boundaries and personal discipline, mindfulness, and intentionality) and an open heart (recognizing how tough it is for everyone - and you - right now, and finding ways to be loving and kind and compassionate....while also holding your personal line).

For those of you who are in caregiving roles, it can be all too easy to be zapped of every second of personal time and space. Be aware of feelings of guilt or of allowing other people's drama to become yours. Be there for your loved ones and recognize that of course more is expected of all of us now. But you can love them and still say no. You don't have to answer the phone every time it rings. You don't have to text back immediately. 

My advice is to have a conversation with those you are closest to, the ones who will expect your time and energy. Set your boundaries, give them some love, then hold the line. 

PSA: You will have needy friends and family members who are not writers and so have much more time to call and text you. They'll want to worry out loud. They'll want to share the latest thing they saw about the virus on Twitter. Community and connection are vital more than ever before and so OF COURSE you want to keep connecting. But. Be mindful of the time suck involved. Be mindful of when someone is just bored and dialing you up compared to when they actually need help and are in crisis. Get intentional about family/friend check-ins: Are there specific times you can jump on the phone? Could you do Zoom lunch dates? Only check and respond to texts at certain times of the day?

My Homebound Resources

I created a page on my website for writers on my website. 

Here you’ll find:

The link for the free weekly Zoom calls (as well as recording of past calls) that I’m doing for the first four weeks of social distancing.

The Flow Lab sneak peek download, which includes a writing sign-in sheet for your writing cave and a Do Not Disturb doorknob sign, as well as my best practices for setting boundaries around your creativity so you can have a sustainable and flourishing writing practice.

Helpful blog posts for mindful ways to be in relationship to your creativity, especially now.

Q & A dialogue with tips for writing during social distancing.

A few helpful meditations that you can download and begin working with right now.


I’ve been digging this Norwegian proverb, which is wonderfully mindful and some serious real talk:

“Either it will be okay, or it will pass.”

Hold fast, camerados.

Here's How To Write During Plague Season

Whatever your circumstances during the COVID-19 scare, I have a hunch you really want to write during this period of social distancing and global uncertainty.

Of course you do. Words have always been your harbor in the storm, the thing you turned to when you were hurting or confused or wanted escape. Your writing gets you. But, like any relationship, you'll have to figure out how much time you can spend together when the world is more topsy turvy than ever. Imagine writing during the Blitz. (Keep Calm and Carry On).

Some of the writers I work with are despairing - how to concentrate when this is all going on?! They can't put their phones down. Stop texting. Stop worrying. Or they're challenged by people who are home that don't respect writing and privacy. They are kinda sort of a lot losing their minds...already. Does writing even matter now? Or they're on the other end of the spectrum, pressuring themselves to use this time wisely, not waste it, write the great American novel - and quickly learn one's Inner Critic doesn't give two figs about social distancing.

I...have a plan for that. 

Below are a few offerings I've put together so that your writing can be a good friend to you during this crisis.

• I'll be offering free weekly Zoom Q & A drop-ins every Sunday at 2:00PM EST. Come with questions and frustrations and wins and losses. I'll email the links each Saturday to my newsletter list, so if you’re not on the list, do pop on. (A little extra email this month, usually just a couple a month...can't be helped.)

• I've created a sneak peek to the Flow Lab, which you can download below right now. This includes a Do Not Disturb door sign, a writing sign-in sheet (you'll see), and my best practices for building and sustaining your daily writing practice NO MATTER WHAT. The full 30-Day Flow Lab is available on March 28, 2020 for newsletter subscribers.

• My site now has a Homebound Resources page - lots there for you.
  
  

  The best writing comes out of the tough stuff. I firmly believe that.

  Click below to get your PDF download of the Flow Lab sneak peek.

  
  

Write In The Slow Lane

Above is a picture of me in Lyon, France, taking it slow, enjoying the moment. See that look of utter contentment on my lady face? It's not just from the delicious meal or the wine or France, or even the company (my beloved). That is my face when I give myself permission to just BE. To relax. To take a freaking knee. And until pretty recently, that wasn't happening on the regular. If you read nothing else in this post read this:

You need to be taking a sabbath once a week.

One of my new big commitments to myself is to take Saturdays off. Every week. No email. No errands. No chores. No phone. No appointments. Nothing scheduled at all, even if it's fun. No clocks. No fucks given.


NO WRITING. (Even if I'm on deadline. Seriously. NO WRITING. And the world still turns...)


On Saturdays I bask. I read books I want to, not ones I "should." I wander around my house and look at things that strike my curiosity - a photo book on Patti Smith that is always just decoration, the way the light slants through the trees in the back yard. I read poems and take walks and I don't cook unless it sounds fun, which it only is if I'm making soup.


What this has done in just a few weeks has been nothing short of astonishing. New book ideas come to me. I have a deeper connection to my creativity. I laugh more - not just on Saturdays but ALL THE DAYS. I am more mindful, catching myself during the week when I'm revving (multi-tasking, getting in that near-manic place of crossing things off lists and non-stop doing).


The best thing is that I have this delicious treat to look forward to every week, which is a balm on the hard days. I know it's there, waiting for me like a promise. I've been talking to my clients about this more and more: How can we unearth some delight? How can we give ourselves permission to really fill the well by doing absolutely nothing? How can we stop feeling guilty for just allowing ourselves to be alive and to wonder and muse and lollygag?

Mark me, friends: Your creativity needs this. And it will suffer without it.

I'm getting huge creative dividends from this combination of mindfulness, creativity exercises, and the deep inner work required of anyone who wants to write anything worth reading - I hope you are all benefitting from the Rough Draft and the meditations, too.


When you're ready to get back out there after your sabbath, you can check out my piece on how to set boundaries around your creativity.

One of the things these sabbaths have clarified for me is who I want to work with in my coaching. While I love writers of all stripes, the ones I'm drawn to working with the most are the ones who feel a deep yearning to flourish in their creativity, but just can't seem to figure it out.

If you're curious about this work, you can head over to my brand new coaching FAQ to learn more.

In the March 2020 Rough Draft, we're getting into ways you can write in the slow lane. Where are you pushing yourself too hard? How can you slow down? What would be a delicious way to bask and loll and delight in your creative self? We've got a writing exercise that Erin Morgenstern (The Night Circus) uses too. This one’s all about filling the well and being good to your writer self. Finding inner quiet. Yum, right?

You can access all archived Rough Drafts now on the Inspiration Portal, so even if you’re catching this post well beyond March 2020, I’ve got you covered. (Newsletter subscribers have the password to portal. Not a newsletter subscriber? We can fix that.)

Cheryl Strayed recently gave this piece of advice to writers, via an interview on the Beautiful Writers podcast: "Write in the slow lane." Spring is a great time to explore slowing down after all the intention setting and holiday recovery that happens in the early part of the year. It's a time to feel the bliss of rain on your face, to reach for the sun, to stretch deep into the earth and bloom.

Who's with me?