“A ship is safe in a harbor, but that is not what ships are built for.”
There I am, having my first proper diner breakfast in over a year. It's also me finding my edge. This photo was taken a few days ago, when I would normally be writing. But my husband and I are moving to St. Paul, Minnesota at the end of the month and we had to go to Verizon to get Midwest phone numbers, officially changing our relationship status with the East Coast. Minnesota is my husband's beloved home state...and my former geographical nemesis. More on that later.
When your whole life is being upended, what's the next right thing? Pancakes and coffee - this writer's version of Bird by Bird when she's once again moving on out.
This relocation to Minnesota (Minn-eh-SOH-tuh) was not an easy decision to make. For one, I am cold all the time. For two, I lived there before and vowed never to do so again (see #1). But I am older and wiser now, and much more up for an adventure worthy of Sansa Stark. I got New York City and Asia and Europe out of my system. For now. Besides, it's very hard indeed to resist moving to a state whose motto is "L'Étoile du Nord"....The star of the North.
When you're finding your edge in the writer's seat, in your creative life, in your soul and mind and heart, it's often very uncomfortable. This is because you're calibrating your compass to whatever True North is for you. And that often involves shifts, changes, sacrifices, or a real come-to-Jesus meeting with yourself, as we'd say here in North Carolina.
Finding Your Edge
In yoga class, "finding your edge" is what a teacher may say to cheer you on, to remind you not to phone your practice in. It's them challenging you to leave it all on the mat...and to caution you against hustling for your worth and letting perfectionism drive you over the edge.
The idea is to go past your resistance and fatigue and bad habits, to a place where you are growing, but not pushing. Reaching, but not pulling. You should never be in physical pain when you're finding your edge - but you'll probably be sweating more than usual.
On the meditation cushion, I liken finding our edge to the concept of holding your seat when you'd rather just throw in the towel and try again tomorrow. Or returning to the breath as your object of meditation when it's much more fun to worry about your future.
In the writer's seat, finding your edge might be trying something new, even if your inner critic is whispering that is a terrible idea, or having the courage to set boundaries around your creativity with others even though saying "no" is just about as terrifying as the prospect of NOT saying yes to yourself. Or it might just be leaving your phone on airplane mode while you’re writing. (Mindfulness for writers 101.)
“The Edge Effect”
Over the weekend, on my writer's sabbath, I came across this little gem in a National Geographic profile on Yo-Yo Ma, one of my favorite creators on the planet:
So here's me, a native Angelino of Greek heritage who currently lives in the South, moving to one of the coldest, most intense climates in the world.
What will this "edge effect" of these two very different landscapes colliding produce on the page?
How will it challenge me to shake things up, to get more comfortable with uncertainty and discomfort, to lean in to the cold, rather than resist it? I mean, I was a competitive figure skater as a kid - I'm well-acquainted with ice.
If Yo-Yo Ma is right and edges are where creativity flourishes (he's a genius, so I'm betting on him), then:
Getting out of our comfort zones and finding our edge in whatever new terrain we inhabit is exactly the container our creativity needs for flow.
The math supports this:
Creativity = two different ideas combined to make a new thing
Example: Peanut butter + chocolate = Reese's Peanut Butter Cups aka Heaven In Your Mouth
BOOM. CREATIVITY UNLOCKED.
The Edge Is In You
Moving to a place where "frozen tundra" is a fair description six months out of the year is me finding my edge as a writer because I'm finally acknowledging that no one place is ever going to be the place that ignites my creativity. Why? Because that fire and inspiration and drive is in me, wherever I go. I've lived all over the world, searching for that one place that would make me feel like a heroine in a novel. (To be fair, a MN winter is very Tolstoyan). But Oscar Wilde had it right, as he often did:
“Life has been your art. You have set yourself to music.
Your days are your sonnets. ”
If we spend all our time trying to Goldilocks our creative lives, waiting for the right time, the right place, the right conditions to present themselves...we'll never get to those places our North Stars are pointing toward, because there is no juuuuuust right if you look anywhere outside yourself.
What does that mean?
When we find our edge, we realize that the conditions for optimum creativity are already inside us, whether we're wearing fifteen layers of long underwear or a bikini.
Your edge is right on the path that points you to your very own étoile polaire. Your Essential Self is the cartographer, guiding you up those mountains your inner critic thinks you can't climb.
So this month, my word is EDGE. Finding it, thriving in that space of delicate balance between pushing my boundaries while being good to my body and my mind.
Mindfulness for Writers: Finish Your Book Visualization
Below is a meditation I created to help you find your edge. Finish that book, whether it's only a dream in your heart or you're nearing the finish line of the first draft or that millionth revision.
This is a juicy visualization where you will actually feel the experience of completing the manuscript. If I were Mae from Little Universes, I'd say this was a simulation for finding your edge.
This summer, as a I navigate the gnarly weird energy of moving house and writing my first novel for adults and anticipating the publication of my first biography, which is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, I take comfort in the fact that all of you are out there
reaching
stretching
expanding....
into your own edges.
To a summer of sweating out good words together!
