āRemember you love writing. It wouldnāt be worth it if you didnāt. If the love fades, do what you need to do and get back to it. ā
š This was a post I wrote way back in Augustā¦and am only just now posting becauseā¦.whelpā¦.I started my second masterās degree. At any rate, here it is!
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We all deal with rejection and uncertainty in different ways. My book has been on sub since Valentine's Day and this is how I'm dealing with it (see photo above). I haven't had anything resembling faith in publishing since I got my first book deal, but I've never been on sub this long, and certainly not for a book I know is the best I've written. We've talked about liminal spaces before, and this is one I'm still discovering how best to navigate.
I had a friend tell me I was dealing with the ups and downs of this sub (got a film agent! really famous people reading the book! no one wanting a book about war right now!) with "remarkable grace." Meditation and mindfulness help me have a felt sense of impermanence that is healthy and generative for prioritizing what matters in life, but it's still hard. I know the work I continue to do with not putting my worth in the work and being in relationship with my inner critic and cultivating self-compassion is essential. All of this has allowed me to stop being that girl forever waiting on the train platform for a ride that may never come. Life is so short. I'm seeing that more and more with sick friends and family members, with everything happening in the world. I simply don't have time to give any more fucks about this business than I already have.
Does that mean I'm giving up? No way! But it does mean I have a life outside of writing now, and that I encourage my students and writers I work with to get lives, too. Actual hobbies. No guilt when you want to garden instead of locking yourself in a dark room to write. Knowing the work will be there when you are ready.
We can live lives that inspire us to write, that allow us to have joy in putting pen to paper, a love for this calling that is outside of performance or expectations or business. That's not giving up. It's putting your attention on what matters - you, the work, your relationship to the world - and rising above the fray of publishing.
And, what do you know? This whole loving your writing and not letting publishing be the thief of your joy is a strategy that actually helps you realize your goals...
When I heard the news that one of my writers has just won the Los Angeles Book Prize for their incredible novel about Czech youth resistance, it's hard to lose faith in words and in the long game of never giving up and telling the stories your heart needs to tell, trends and publishers and numbers be damned.
Here's Lyn's testimony from back when we worked together several years ago:
I came to Heather because I needed to get past a traumatic experience and reboot my career. Heather helped me identify what was most important to me in terms of my writing and how to let go of misconceptions that were holding me back.
As a result, I have considered avenues that I had dismissed earlier. Iāve learned to own my values and my words, take control of my process and not cede the direction of my career to others.
As a neurodiverse author, Lyn has had to overcome so many challenges in publishing, not to mention the lack of popularity of historical YA! I remember looking at early pages of this book when she came to a revision retreat I created at Highlights Foundation several years ago....and now here we are.
If that isn't reminder enough that we just need to keep loving the work and doing the work and not getting bogged down by the business, I don't know what is.
Some icing on the inspiration cake: one of the writers that I talked about a few months ago in this post, Deborah Crossland, was on Good Morning America talking about her new book! What?! Deb came to me during a time of major transition and she counts Writing Bingeable Characters as one of the things that has helped her most with her novel (ahem), which came out this week. You can follow her here to catch her spot on Friday.
Me, swimming in the Adriaticā¦
Earlier this summer, I took a trip to Croatia and I DID NOT BRING MY LAPTOP. People, this is huge. I have never had the courage to do that, not since I've been serious about my writing. I brought a journal and pens and tiles for Zentangles and sashiko embroidery. I had awesome books to read (don't even get me started on Elizabeth Gilbert trying to censor all writers everywhere who want to write a book setting in a certain country). Most important: I had sunscreen and my bathing suit.
Here's to us all doing right by the miracle of being alive in this messy, beautiful, maddening world...and then writing about it, when we feel like itā¦
