I left Instagram in early December 2021. I was sad for about a day. Truly, I am so happy without it. I no longer am living my life through a filter, watching myself watch myself.
Is it any coincidence that I have fallen into a major flow state since no longer using my social media time suck of choice?
My life is more full of things and people than ever, and yet...there must be a link between being more creative when you’re not trying to simultaneously be a marketing maven. I admit to occasionally looking up someone. I read an article about them, and I dip into their Instagram to learn more. But these are quick peeks and then I’m out. I’m no longer scrolling and losing track of time, feeling FOMO and jealousy and like everyone’s house, hair cut, dinner, garden looks better than mine.
I’m connecting so much more with people one-on-one. I’m taking up new hobbies (embroidery), and cooking up a storm. I love watering my plants and I love not trying to get pictures of them so that I can post them. I water my plants and listen to the Beautiful Chorus mantra album and, if I’m home alone, I sing along. Did I mention I’m writing so much more?
About a month or so later, I quit Spotify. And that led my husband to discovering the most incredible Internet radio station, Fip, which has been feeding my creativity with music I’ve never heard before as well as wonderfully eclectic favorites. We never would have found that without leaving Spotify, which we decided to no longer support due to how terribly it treats artists, and yeah, Joe Rogan is on there).
Here was an unexpected thing, though: in leaving Spotify, I stopped getting instant gratification.
This forced me to be more curious, to go with the flow, to see how I could encounter whatever song was playing. You know, old school, like the radio. In no longer trying to control my experience or mood, some really cool stuff began happening: dots connecting, well filling, a general sense of expansiveness. It was also one less damn monthly fee, one less tab opened, one less thing to do (put a song on a playlist, share it on social, blah blah blah). It also has given me the gift of buying actual music and supporting artists directly.
It feels good not to just have what you want at your fingertips. It’s so much more interesting.
Last week, I left Twitter.
The reasons aren’t so different from leaving Instagram in terms of integrity, but with Elon Musk possibly buying it (more billionaires controlling more things) and how much conflict and hatred and anxiety it sows in the world, I began to wonder why the heck I was even on there. Tweet Delete made it easy to delete all my tweets, media, and likes so that I have a nice parking spot and little else.
You’ll notice that I didn’t delete either my Twitter or Instagram accounts. That’s because I don’t want anyone to impersonate me, but also because people looking to connect with me can find out how when they land on my pages.
It feels so good to step away from these spaces. I know many artists feel they don’t have a choice, but if you dig into the research, you might find the platform you’re on isn’t even that helpful to sharing your work. To be fair, I’m a traditionally published author and that affords me other avenues for connection - readers reach out to me and I guest teach or go on podcasts, which give me a good reach. I also do other forms of outreach that feel good to me, such as sharing meditations on Insight Timer. I love my newsletter, and I think there’s a lot of word-of-mouth with that, too.
But, honestly, even if it gave me less access to readers and writers I want to connect with, I’d have to make these choices for my writing and mental health to flourish.
The Portal
My librarian neighbor recommended that I read Patricia Lockwood’s No One Is Taking About This several months ago and I absolutely devoured it. I rarely say this: It is one of the most astonishing books I have ever read. I’d never heard of the book or the author - here is word-of-mouth power in action! I didn’t hear about it on social media or even saw it at a bookstore (take that, Twitter!).
I don’t want to tell you anything about the book, and I recommend you don’t look it up - it’s so satisfying if you go in only knowing the jacket copy. Don’t even look up the author herself. Just read the book. It’s slim and extraordinary and I not only felt my experience and that of our society reflected so well in how she presents what she calls “the portal,” but it’s also a great book for studying narrative structure and voice.
Here’s a quote that jumped out at me many months after finishing the book, when I decided to quit Twitter:
“...she would drink espresso until there was a free and frightening exchange between her and the day - she was open, flung open, and anything could rush in.”
Mindfulness for Writers
In some ways, being flung open like this is an ideal state for writers. It invites curiosity and flow, openness, and causes dots to connect in surprising ways.
But when we’re in spaces like Twitter, being flung open is terrible for writers, many of whom are deeply empathic, sensitive, and bitter sweet types (see Susan Cain’s new book, Bittersweet) who must, absolutely MUST, be wary of anything that generates a hive mind.
In order to produce our best work, I firmly believe that we must be on the outside looking in, while simultaneously courting deep and meaningful connection with ourselves, others, and the universe. Twitter is neither deep nor meaningful. It’s not worth being up-to-date, it’s not worth buying what we’re being sold. We are not going to have better careers or a foot in the door or a seat at the table in this way.
There are other ways to have conversations, make friends, and network in a heart-centered way. Find them. Or stay in these toxic online spaces at your own risk.
I recommend really taking an honest look at your social media: is it really giving you what you want, whether it be results or meaningful connection (on a regular basis). Or are you hoping for a “someday” boost that will likely never come because look how big a pond we little fishes are swimming in!
If you want to dip a toe in these waters, how about a two-week detox, or even a month? Just notice how that impacts your life.
The choice to simplify as much as possible is opening my whole life up to me. It’s glorious. I hope you get a taste of that, too, in whatever way feels good to you.
Now, to figure out a better relationship to email….
“Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.”